Babies Love Gilbird
by bobness
Summary: In which Prussia finds something surprising in Target one day. One-shot.


**Prompt: No prompt. I was just walking around target and found something interesting.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Hetalia or Target or whatever else I mentioned that Target may/may not sell.**

* * *

><p>For once, Germany allowed Prussia to tag along to the meeting. For once. Prussia had begged him time and time again to let him get away from the troublesome Europe and to come to America, where he could let others bask in his awesomeness.<p>

Of course, he soon figured out it wasn't much different than Europe, especially when the only people he had to hang out with were European countries. And then there was the fact that Germany wouldn't let him out of his sight.

"I'm the older brother here!" Prussia argued. "I should be the one bossing _you_ around."

The blond nation didn't even glance up from his paperwork. "You're not a country anymore, so just be thankful that America even agreed you could come."

Prussia snorted. "'Course he agreed. I mean, I'm the one who taught him to be awesome and all that stuff, right?"

Germany raised his eyebrows. "Hm."

"Don't 'hm' me, I'm bored! Quit telling me what to do. You can't order such awesomeness around!"

This finally caused Germany to act. The bigger man stuffed a list in his hands. "Here. Go shopping, then. Be sure to grab enough food for Feliciano, too."

Okay, sure, it was _shopping_, but it was better than nothing, right? Plus, Germany didn't forget to put 'beer' on it. "Right away, West!" Prussia exclaimed, giving him a mock salute and all but skipping out the door.

Once he was driving around, though, he realized he didn't know exactly what store to go to. Actually, he wasn't even sure what stores they had in America. "_Mein gott_, I probably should have had this all figured out, hm? No worries!" He laughed, now talking to himself. "I'm awesome enough to find a place!" And, apparently, his awesome skills worked, for he soon came across a large, crowded store. Pulling into a free parking space, he looked up at the name. "Target." Odd name. But, if his skills were working correctly (which they most certainly were), this place would be just as cool as he was.

He really wished he had America with him right now, though. Sure, he had that silly American money, but he wasn't sure what was a good price and what wasn't. Finally, he just opted on buying the products with a higher price number- quality was always good.

He enjoyed the store and all of the customers and their weird accents and their pathetic lives. "They've got nothing on me," he told himself proudly. "_Kesesese_, look at them, staring at my awesomeness!"

Which, obviously, wasn't the true reason. Most were wondering if his hair color was real, some were amazed by his red eyes, and yet others were just plain annoyed of his creepy grin and strange laughs. But, Prussia _knew_ they were just in awe of him.

He began wandering the store after his shopping cart was filled and the list checked off. He just really wasn't in any mood to go home and get scolded by West for buying two extra beer packages and a handful of gummy bears. Besides, Target was an interesting place and roaming was fun.

It was even more fun when he made his way to the baby section. He was just going to skip right through it, but something caught his eye.

Something bright and yellow.

He did a double take and gasped loudly. "No...way..." That was really all he could say at the amazing spectacle.

Instantly, he tore out his phone and dialed America's number.

"Uh, hello?"

"America, I love you, marry me, you're awesome."

The phone went silent as America hesitated. "Who is this?"

Prussia sighed. "How can you not recognize the voice of the awesome Prussia?" he asked, placing one hand on his hip and trying to radiate his anger through the phone.

"Right. Prussia. Yeah, I know that!" America sounded a lot more enthusiastic now that he knew who it was. "So, wassup, dude? Why do you wanna get married?"

"Target."

America's cheerful personality faltered, replaced by a confused one. "Target?"

"Yes, Target. Damn, America, how could you make something so amazing. This stuff's the bomb!"

The young nation on the other end of the phone laughed. "I don't know what you're talking about, but I didn't exactly make Target. France did, I think. I'm not sure, I'll have to check up on it."

"So, you aren't aware of Gilbird?" Prussia asked. "C'mon, it's in your country! You should know!"

Another laugh came from America. "I know Gilbird! That's the little, yellow birdie you put on your head or shoulder or whatever, and he always flies around you, right?"

"Bright lad!" Prussia shouted, ignoring the glances he received. "And, did you know that Target has an assortment of baby stuff with my little Gilbird printed all over them?"

While America was trying to figure out exactly what 'baby stuff' Prussia was speaking of, the albino man began grabbing as much as he possibly could- baby pajamas, a bib (actually, two- both had different designs), some pants...everything. "Oh!" America's loud voice suddenly cut into his quick shopping spree. "Yeah, those. Dude, I forgot we still sold them."

"I can't believe- how can you forget something so awesome as this?" Prussia gestured over to his cart, though he knew America couldn't see.

"Haha, sorry! I don't keep up on the baby or toddler or children or whatever else they're managing to sell. I mean, clothes. I...oh, never mind. Anyway, that sounds awesome! Are you buying any?"

"Hell yeah!" the ex-nation replied, finally managing to fill his cart, and he pushed it to the cash registers. "Listen, I gotta go, but I shall meet up with your ass later this week, got it?"

"Got- wait, what? Dude, that sounded really wrong."

"Suck it up." And, with that, he pressed the 'end' button, setting his items on the counter near the register.

The cashier, a young teenager, probably, smiled as she scanned the baby accessories. "How old is he?"

Prussia blinked. Was his awesomeness making people crazy? "How old is who?"

Laughing, the cashier answered, "The baby, of course!"

"Baby?"

"Well, yes. I mean, you have a ton of baby supplies. Aw, and they all have that cute, little bird on them."

"They're for me and my awesomeness," Gilbert said with a grin.

The cashier's smile faltered slightly. "Oh, well, usually people buy this stuff for babies."

Prussia sighed. "Yeah, but I don't have a baby." Geez, these cashiers weren't very bright, were they? But, wait- maybe she had a point. Gilbird was certainly too small to fit into these clothes, and he himself was too big, so...He snapped his fingers together. "I need to get a baby, don't I?" Without waiting for a reply, he pulled out his cellphone and began dialing numbers. "England? Yes, it's me! Say, you think you can use your magic skills and turn one of the others into a baby for me? What? Now, that's not a very nice thing to say...well, you know what, you're so unawesome! I can't believe you're even still around!" New number. "_Guten tag_, Spain! Say, you think you can find me a baby somewhere? No...oh, that's too bad. Heh, well, no worries! The awesome me will prevail in this quest for a toddler!" He hung up, and was ready to call someone else when he felt a poke.

"Excuse me?" He turned at the voice and found a mother holding a young child. "Will you please hurry?"

He had a quick thought flash through his mind before he grabbed the baby from the woman's arms. "Ah-ha! I found one, I found one! Aw, he'll fit perfectly in these clothes!"

* * *

><p>"And then you snatched the baby away from the lady and tried running off with it?" Germany asked, his blue eyes narrowed in anger. "<em>Mein gott<em>, why do I always have to bail you out of jail? You know how much trouble it is on my boss to keep doing these things? I knew I shouldn't have brought you along."

Prussia angrily kicked at Germany's desk. "Damn it, they didn't even allow me to grab my Gilbird-stuff!"

* * *

><p><strong>I was walking around Target the other day and DID find a bunch of crap with a yellow bird everywhere. I screamed, "GILBIRD!" and scared everyone around me and cried because I had no money, and no child, so...yeah. I just thought how awesome it would be if Prussia invaded Target (which MIGHT be French or something. I dunno, I heard it was French).<strong>

**I made a reference to Gen. Steuben, by the way, a Prussian general during the American Rev. who would always cuss cause he didn't know much else in English and everyone thought he was cool. **

**I should be working on my multi-chapter fics, but I had to write this. Sorry. Please review and stuff!  
><strong>


End file.
